A Blind Heart

Memories are so funny, sometimes. I always wonder why we get to remember the bad things along with the good. However, I have come to realize that God gives us memories to use as lessons of life. I know I have learned a thing or two.

What does it mean to be in love with the wrong person?

Several years ago, the singles' group that I was associated with went camping in Oklahoma. Our group set up camp near a small lake.

On the morning of the second day of the trip, several people in the group decided to go fishing in the near by pond. My love was up early that day and at the pond before any of the others. When I awoke and stumbled out of my room, I caught a glimps of him by the lake. He had his chair already set up, his tackle box opened and his line in the water. Rubbing my eyes, I pulled on my shoes to go greet him "good morning".

He was a little grumpy. "Nothing's biting."
My response was cheerful, even though I am not a morning person at all. "Well, it's early, yet. You haven't been here long. Give the fish time to wake up."
Humph!

So, I decided to leave him with his fish and go get dressed. Around the campfire, I found several other girls who had recently awakened. They were getting dressed to go for a hike in the woods around the camp. So, I decided to go with them. I quickly changed, brushed my hair, put on my hiking boots, and off we went on an early morning walk.

The area was beautiful, filled with large trees that had been growing there for hundreds of years. Wildlife was all around us with squirrels romping in the grass and chasing each other up trees. We saw interesting birds gliding through branches in search of the early worm. There was even a grass snake that slithered across our path.

At one point, the forest opened up to a meadow filled with the sweetest tiny white flowers. There were so many of them, that it looked as if snow had fallen the night before on just this meadow. As we gingerly walked through this field, trying not to stomp on any of the flowers, I reached down and touch a few with my fingers. It was such a beautiful sight, and even though I knew these dainty little creations were only weeds, I wanted to share it with my love.

So, I picked a few of the flowers to take back to him.

As we topped the last hill of our tour, I could see my love still by the lake, fishing pole in hand. He was sitting at this point, a little more relaxed than I had found him earlier. As I walked toward him, my heart thumped loudly in anticipation of his acceptance of the gift I had retrieved for him. When I got nearer to him, I felt my gait quicken a little with the great desire to be near him.

"Hi Honey!" I spoke a little too loudly, for he shot me a look of aggrivation as he shushed me. I knew that the fish needed quiet, but I was too excited to hold my emotions in. "Oh, sorry," I whispered. "But I got you something on my walk this morning."

He turned to look at the precious offerings I held in my fingers. The little white flowers were perched upward, sort of smiling at him in invitation. My face stuck in a smile, my heart flittered with love, my fingers trembled with excitement. It was the perfect gift to give the one you loved.

"I don't want that!" he grumbled. "Flowers are not for guys. Why did you bring me that? I am not a girl." And with a brush of his hand, I was dismissed.

My heart sank.
My brain raced..."What???"
"But I love you...you are supposed to love me!"
"How can you say such a horrible thing to me!"
"Why are you so mean?"
"It is just a stupid flower, just take it you jerk!"

My heart was broken, however, we continued to date for another year. I chose to close the eyes of my heart and pretend everything was okay in the relationship. My brain was screaming, "Get out!" But my heart was hoping that if I stayed, he would change my mind.

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What did I learn from this memory?

Dating is not for the blind at heart.
Listen to your mind!
Heed to the events that God allows your heart to go through.

If it walks like a jerk, if it talks like a jerk, and acts like a jerk...it probably is a JERK.
And I have never known a jerk to change.
Mine didn't, and yours probably won't either.

SO...

The simplest gift I can give you...
The purest flower of thought I have to share...
Is to keep the eyes of your heart wide open
and don't ignore the experiences that God places there.