I have fallen in love...

Not that "Oooo, he's cute" kind of love.
Not the "I wonder what it would be like to have him" kind of love.
Not even the "I can imagine myself married to him" kind of love.

I have surpassed the crush.
I have overtaken the infatuation.
I have sped past the giddy, butterflies in the stomach stage.

Now I am living in the truth of love.
Prosiding in the trust of love.
Abiding in the sacrifice of love.

And I don't choose to be anywhere but here.

Thank you Lord! Thank you! For answering all the prayers that asked for this love!
It is "more than I could ever ask for or imagine"!

I am just not a Math person! I try to be...and part of me wants to be, because I think it would make me a better teacher. But I just can't force myself to fight for a chair in these workshops. So, I sit. I sit here in a chair that lines the wall of the outer sanction of the conference hall.

I chair among many. And I watch.

I feel a bit silly watching all these dedicated teachers rush around, toting their goods. They all have either large tote bags or buckets on wheels, all toppling with handouts, laptops, books, manipulatives, pens, paper, pencils, and many other items they have purchased from Math vendors. And here I sit. Just watching in awe of their determination to make the most of this three day conference!

And, yet, I sit!

I am a little envious-for I long to learn,but my great indifference toward math keeps me planted...watching...as the day passes me by in the steps of Math bustling about me.

Now, if this were a Language Arts seminar, it would be a whole different story!

So, if you see me signing up for another Math conference, please remind me of this post!

In the past year, the Lord has begun molding me in a way that only He could. He has changed me.

I am different.

I am His.

And that change is evident in what happened today.

I am usually kind of a shy person when it comes to meeting new people. If I am placed in a situation where I have no choice, I can be outgoing. But it is really not in my nature.

Today, I decided to get up and go on a walk. I need the exercise, but I also needed some time to think. I plugged in my headphones and headed down the parking lot. No one was out and it was peaceful to walk alone listening to Switchfoot and lost in my own thoughts.

Then God appeared...only I didn't realize it at first. I passed these three ladies who were walking together. Now, I have been told I live in the ghetto, so, of course, I shied away from speaking to them for safety's sake. But I did smile and wave.

In the course of the walk, I met several other people. A UPS delivery guy who nearly ran into me in his busyness of the morning. There was a woman with a small child who actually spoke to me, "Hola!" Hmmm... Finally, there was a nice young man who said good morning as he passed by in his blue and gold striped hoopty car.

On the second round of my trip, I spotted that group of women still walking. They were going slower and in the opposite direction than I was headed. This time when passing them, I spoke. Wow! I couldn't believe that legible words came from my lips. But suddenly, I heard my own voice say, "Good Morning, Ladies!" And then I felt a smile creep to my face.

What???

That was NOT me!

I was so shocked!

It was then that I began not just hearing the music I was marching to, but also I heard God speaking to me through the words.

He was reminding me of who He had changed me into.
He was reminding me of who He needed me to be...
who He wanted me to be...
who I wanted to be for Him.

So I hurried.

I nearly ran that third lap.

As I sprinted along, I prayed that God would open my mouth to His glory.

I prayed that He would give opportunity to show His love.

I prayed that He would open a door for Him to pass through.

I prayed for peace within my silly fear of the unknown.

Spotting the women for the last time on this journey, I slowed to a walk and approached them with confidence. Taking my earphones out, I extended my hand and spoke with the authority of the Lord.

"Hi. I have passed you three times now, and want to introduce myself to you. I am Kathryn." Each hand shake was met with a smile of interest.
The ladies walk every morning and they invited me to walk along with them sometime.

Thank you Lord!
Thank you for the chance to touch others lives in Your Name!
Lead me Lord in whatever you have planned here!

The List

This is the beginning of my second week of Summer Vacation!!!

This summer is different from any other ever.
It is a time full of hope, elation, adventure, exploration, and love.
This is the summer for experiences beyond my wildest dreams.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me the blessings of this summer!

In order not to waste one single moment God is blessing me with, I have organized my activities.

Hence...THE LIST!

1. Geocaching
2. Hiking
3. Horseback riding
4. Paddle a canoe down a running river
5. Drive a race car--for no highway around here can stand the speed I would like to drive on a regular basis.
6. Go on a leisurely bike ride (may have to wait til the fall)
7. Go to the movies!!!! Public Enemies, Valkyrie, Race to Witch Mountain, Knowing, for starters
8. Dallas World Aquarium
9. Play Nertz!!!
10. Go to the Beach
11. Have a dinner party at my place
12. Listen to live music
13. See fire works
14. make stir fry
15. Cut a real pineapple
16. Plan a trip to Italy or Scotland
17. Cook something I have never made before
18. Go to the musicals
19. Decorate my back porch
20. Find the skinny Me
21. Work on my new classroom
22. Dance
23. Go to a cookout
24. Do an in depth Bible study
25. Write on my blog (hey, I am doing that today!!!)
26. Laugh and act silly a lot!!!
27. Read all my books
28. Remain in prayer
29. Hang out with the ones I love
30. Spend time getting to know someone new

I wonder if you have a list like this for yourself. Got to tell ya that making it was very fun, but hopefully not as fun as it will be completing it!

Will you take this journey with me?

A student in 3rd grade hasn't stopped talking about the egg hunt all week. Apparently he had never participated in such an event.

How does a child get to the third grade without an experience as simple as that?

When I began looking for a job, I prayed that God would find me a position at Hodges Elementary. I knew that it was a low income area and the kids would need lots of love. I knew there would be many challenges waiting for me each day. But I still prayed that God would put me there.

In the last 5 years, I have been regretting that prayer. I have been so burned out that I couldn't remember why I ever had the desire to work with kids and parents who didn't seem to care. But this year, through all my own personal tragedy, I think I have found the answers I have been lacking.

Having the opportunity to put on events such as Trunk or Treat and the Easter Egg Hunt have reminded me of how much those kids at Hodges need me...not just me, but any adult that will pay attention to them. And it is better to give them positive encouraging attention rather than the negative kind they get on the streets and even in their own homes.

My prayer is that we...Christians in the area...discover new ways to support and encourage the people in this are and their children. I want this outreach ministry to incorporate teachers, public workers, and HO members who love this community and its children. I want to work together to find the ways to best support that child in 3rd grade who has never experienced the simple things in life and all the others who identify with him.

I pray that you will take this journey with me.

Meet Zoe!

Some say she looks like me, but she is not mine.

She belongs (although he never knew her) to my brother,

Jeff Ponder.

When she first found us, I was very resistant to meeting her.

I thought, if Jeff didn't know her, then why should I?

So, I stayed away.

My head was a mess.

My heart was breaking.

And I continued to stay away.

My mom and sister contacted her.

They played and loved on her.

And, yet, I stayed away.

I thought I was doing the right thing.

I thought I was doing what Jeff would have wanted.
So, I stayed away.

Was I ever wrong!

After much encouragement from my mom and sis,

I asked for some advice from several very close friends.

Each one said the same exact thing...

"What do you think Jesus would do if He were in your shoes?"

But I wanted to stay away!

I didn't want to think about what Jesus would want me to do!

I knew I was right!

So, why were things still so stressful?

Why did I still feel so disconnected?

Why were things not getting better?

Then one night God spoke to me.

He opened my ears and spoke directly to my pride.

I had opened my bible to read.

The book fell open to Zechariah.

I thought...I don't want to read this.

So, I went to turn to another place. (I was thinking Psalms or something)

But in the process of trying to flip through the bible with one hand while fixing the pillows in the bed with the other,

it fell to the floor and landed

face up - back at Zechariah. Who would have thought...

So, I read.

And,

Clear as a bright spring day, He said

"Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless..."

Zechariah 7:10

The Fatherless!!!

Uh...Hello!

Could God have been any plainer?

So,

Let me present to you, Zoe Pena.

My niece...

My NIECE!

I love you, Zoe!

Every time I look into the eyes of this precious child, God speaks to me over and over again! What a blessing she is to our lives!

Thank you Lord for insisting I hear your voice!


Look for future posts on this precious child!