What if...

I have pretty much found my WHY when it comes to the death of my dad, but I am still struggling with the reasons for being all the way in China when it all happened.

I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that I flew half way around the world just to have to come all the way back so suddenly.

Forty hours on a plane! All alone! Such wasted time!

But after much contemplation,

After large amounts of observation,

After many conversations with my family,

I have some thoughts to share.

Just hear me out....

What if God knew (before I left) that Dad was going to die,

And He sent me there anyway...

What if God knew that Jenny and Jeff and Mom would need me,

But He sent me there anyway...

What if God knew that they needed to deal with this death on their own,

So He sent me there anyway...

What if this trip wasn't necessarily for anyone in China,

but a blessing for my family...

What if my being so far away

helped God bring my family together...

(sometimes thought to be an impossible task)

What if this mission trip was not about my obeying God,

but a time for God to work on my family...

(there were many aspects that needed to be adjusted...and only God could repair them)

What if God doesn't really need me in China,

He just needed me to get out of His way so He could work in

Jenny's life

Jeff''s life

Mom's life

Uncle Jerry's life

Ben and Brian's lives

Lara and Bruce's lives

Patricia's life

Melissa's life

Stephen's life...

(all of which I have seen changed since this happened)

What if the death of my dad

and my going so far away

was just God

setting the stage

for his miraculous healing powers

to be accomplished

here at home...