Invited to the Table

As I lay in a jumble of sleeping bags across the living room floor, the sounds of soft snoring cousins near by was not enough to lull me to sleep. The clinking of silverware and the steady rhythm of conversation coming from the table was much more interesting. The voices would talk of Christmas gifts, breakfast items, and the weather...all important topics. However, when Granddaddy thought all the children were asleep, he would bring up what was really on his mind...church.

I couldn't wait for that topic. I would close my eyes and will myself to stay awake. When it was time, there would be a long silence, then a sigh, and Granddaddy would be off and running.

He would bring up things about the sermon that morning or the song service. Sometimes they would even sing and hymn or two. Granddaddy was an elder and he would discuss decisions their church had made recently and how the congregation had taken to the new plans.

But the real fun started when an uncle would pull out the Bible. They would look up scriptures from that mornings lesson and have deep discussions on whether the preacher was right about his take on it. These conversations would go on for hours, sometimes until late in the night.

On Christmas eve of 1983, Dawn, the oldest cousin, got to sit at the table during this discussion. I felt a pang of jealousy as I curled up inside my sleeping bag on the floor. I was only 13, and still was not old enough to be invited to the table. I lay there listening to the snores of my cousins and the clinking of the silverware, longing to be part of the adult conversation about church things.

Alas, Granddaddy died before I was ever old enough to participate in any of these discussions. I find that even now, I feel like a child when it comes to the workings of the church. When we are faced with heartache and confusion as we have been in the past week, I want to run back to that sleeping bag to lay safely close by while my family hashes it all out.

However, God is slowly teaching me that I am the adult, now, and it is time for me to set my own table. I should choose carefully whom to invite to the table, but by all means, He should be at the top of the list. But, the real joy will come when we walk through the gates of heaven to sit at that banquet table, with God at the head, and discuss the happiness that lasts forever.